Something I hate reading in any review.

This is a pet peeve of mine, so I’m just going to go ahead and unload right now.  I just read this in a review of the classic TV series Eight is Enough, and it’s something that irritates me every time I read it  in any review of anything.

”Everyone can watch the show, and you don't have to worry about foul language or adult situations.”

Let me explain something to you.  I don’t give a damn.  That’s not why I bought the show.  I don’t think that’s why anybody should watch this show or any other show like it.  Just because someone doesn’t say damn or bare their butt isn’t what makes it special or worth watching or even not worth watching.  I’ve bought Eight is Enough, and I own a copy of Show Girls.  Your comment is just as stupid as if I said in a review, “Everybody should watch Showgirls because it has a lot of tits and ass so it’s a really great movie.  Give your children a lesson in female anatomy”

Hell, no show was any more clean pure family oriented than Full House  and that half hour of hell just plain flat out sucked.  What should I say, buy it even though it was a really sickeningly sweet piece of crap  because you don’t have to worry about D.J. giving Michelle the finger when she scribbles in her diary with a Crayola? 

I’ve seen some really pure as the driven snow shows that my kids watched and loved.  But there were just as many so called G rated fun for all shows that made them want to puke with boredom.  Shows like Full House.  Ugh!

If any adult with half a brain can’t figure out what certain members of their family may or may not be able to watch, then perhaps birth control should be on their agenda somewhere.  It’s just stupid to put it in a movie review.  It tells nothing about the show or movie.  Why not word it correctly?

”Hey look at me!  I’m pure!  I’m not watching any sex, nudity and violence.  I’m better than you are as a person.  My kids never hear dirty words in my house.  They just pick them up at school and on the street the same as I did when I was their age”

Give me a break.  I don’t know how old you are but if you’re my age, I hope I don’t know you.  You’re undoubtedly one of those people who sits in front of their TV 24 hours a day with your freakin’ notepad, writing down every damn, hell, or ass word so you can quickly pen a letter of complaint off to the FCC while one of the world’s top ten asshats, Tony Perkins, drools all over you.  I’m thinking that now, and only now, are you recovering from the stroke you had at the sight of Justin Timberlake exposing Janet Jackson’s breast for a millisecond at the Super Bowl.  And I bet if I scrolled through all the reviews there would be three or four people telling me how much better Eight is Enough is than something like The Shield, or Shameless, because it’s just good clean family fun.

If  you want to tell people something about the actual show, then please do so.  Sticking the label “Mr. & Mrs. Goody Two Shoes” on your forehead and broadcasting it as if the rest of us were morons just doesn’t fly.  I’m willing to bet that if you ever read my little commentary here, you’ll absolutely hate it.  I hope so.  Next time, tell us something about the show that might interest us, besides the fact that Nicholas didn’t say the fuck word.  We already know that.