Showing posts with label Netflix Stuff. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Netflix Stuff. Show all posts

Tuesday, November 11, 2014

Redbox Mucks Up Their Web Page Some More. I Think I’m Done.

Sometimes, you have to wonder what goes through some the mind of some corporate web designers or the big shot executives who tell them what to do.  Lately, any time Redbox has decided to tinker with their web site, they manage to really muck it up. 

I’ve always had my little quibbles with Redbox.  Many of their practices are hardly consumer friendly and they seem to be totally unwilling to make the effort to change.  Make a complaint and you’ll get a brush off.  Oh yeah, occasionally they’ll try to give you a free rental when what they should be giving you is a refund for their incompetence.

You may know that drill.  You reserve a movie and you go over to get it from the machine a few hours later and the machine is broken and not working.  And since you have no clue as to when it might be working again you can either accept your losses or call the Redbox number where the poor patsy on the other end of the phone will try to shove that rental credit on your ass, even if you have no idea when you might get to use it.

Refund?  That would be too much trouble.  After all they don’t really want to give you your money back even though its no fault of yours the machine wasn’t working.  Because that would inconvenience them, and one thing corporate big wigs don’t like is to be inconvenienced.  Better the customer put up with their lousy policies and bullshit nonsense instead of issuing a damn credit on your Visa. 

I can hear them now:

”Hey what’s the big deal?  We have a few million customers so why does one poor shlub in some hick town matter?  Let him/her get pissed off.  Beside, where the hell else are they going to go?  Blockbuster is no longer around, and Netflix takes forever.  We’re practically a monopoly so why should we give a damn?”

Yeah, I think that’s the same attitude Blockbuster took for years and look at them now.

One time I had four movies on reserve at a particular store that has two Redbox machines.  They were in Machine B.  Of course when I went to pick up the movies, it was machine B that wasn’t working at all.  It had even been unplugged to keep people from trying to use it.

This time I called the Redbox number on my cell phone right there in the store.  Basically their answer was that I was shit out of luck.  Could you switch my movie rentals to Machine A since all four movies were in that machine ready to be rented.  Nope, couldn’t do anything like that.  That would be too difficult. 

Could I get a refund?  Nope, and you could almost hear the person on the other end chuckling to themselves over that idiotic notion.

What they could do was give me a credit and I could rent the movies.  Well, eventually I could.  The problem was that their computer, which must be a Commodore 64 the way they run things, would continue to show me with four movies reserved until that reservation ran the clock out.  And the limit on movie reservations at one time is 5.

Therefore, I couldn’t even use the credit until after 9:00 the next night when I would have no use for the damn things because we in the real world have to work this thing called a job. 

There have been other instances as well and if you do a few searches on the internet, you’ll read some real horror stories.  But honestly, with their latest act of corporate stupidity and uselessness, I think I’m done.  You finally have to draw the line somewhere just to keep your sanity.  You can’t say, “What were they thinking?” because obviously they weren’t, and they don’t.  Sometimes policies are invented just to annoy you.

It used to be when you went on the Redbox web site, after having saved “your locations” you could click on one of them and see what was in that particular machine at that location at that moment in time.  If a movie wasn’t showing either it wasn’t in the machine or all copies were checked out.  If they were all checked out you could scroll to the bottom of the page and see a somewhat faded entity marked “not available.”  Pretty simple.  Then you would just click on one of your other locations (if there was one) to see if the DVD or Blu-ray was there, or just choose something else.

In my case, there are three Redbox Vending Machines within a half mile or so radius from where I live.  One of these is just two blocks away.  After that, you have to travel eight miles to the next Redbox and unless you have Quaker Oats for brains, you’re not going to make that trip.  You’ll just wait for the movie to arrive or be checked in or whatever.

But now you no longer know if it’s in or not because Redbox Executives in their infinite wisdom decided to no longer make it readily apparent whether a movie was at your chosen location or not.  Now, they simply list all their movies available at all locations, whether it’s checked out or not or whether its in the machine or not.   In my town, which seems to be last on the delivery list, this often happens.  What a machine in the big city may get on Tuesday, we may get by Friday, if we’re lucky.

So now when you click on a title that’s not even at the location you are browsing, it says “Find DVD nearby” instead of just telling you the damn thing wasn’t there in the first place.  And just checking one certain movie right now, I’d have to drive 30 miles to get it.  Some recommendation that is.

 

Why the change?  Why not just tell you up front that a movie is not at the location you’re browsing and let you make your own choice as to whether to check a box that isn’t 30 miles away?  It worked for me just fine.

Because like politicians, Redbox thinks you’re too stupid to do that.  And I guess they think somebody’s willing to spend $10 worth of gas to drive to a Redbox and get $1.20 movie so they might as well make that sales pitch for the stupid people.  It’s just idiotic and unnecessary.  And worse, you still don’t know if all copies of that movie are all just checked out or if it even arrived at that location yet.  IF ITS NOT AT THAT LOCATION JUST SAY SO INSTEAD OF ME JUMPING THROUGH HOOPS TO FIND THAT OUT!

Really, I think I’m done.  I’ll just order them from Netflix.  It may take longer sometimes, but at least I can watch them at my leisure and not deal with the frustrating antics of Redbox and their total disregard for customer convenience.  I can only be annoyed jumping through corporate hoops before I change the game plan.  Having helped do Blockbuster in, I don’t think copying that company’s little regard for their customers is a great idea.  I’m sure with all their customers, Redbox won’t miss me.  But I won’t miss them either.

Tuesday, September 2, 2014

Netflix Snags the Rights to Fox’s “Gotham” Before One Episode Has Aired

I'm sure that after the recent success of Christopher Nolan’s Batman trilogy, there are many out there eagerly anticipating the arrival of  for the prequel “Gotham” on the Fox Network.

Has it only been a year since the arrival of another movie based spinoff by the name of Agents of S. H. I. E. L. D. was also delivered into the eager arms of Marvel fan boys one and all?  By the time the first season of Agents ended, it seems like most people have forgotten that it even existed.  The show everybody was talking about became the show nobody was talking about.  Agents of What?

But Netflix is betting that Gotham won't meet with the same fate. They have just paid Fox for the exclusive rights to stream the series.  Netflix chief, Ted Sarandos, says “it’s the most anticipated series of the new fall season”.  I suppose so, unless of course that means that the new lineup which begins this month is mediocre fodder from beginning to end.  By the end of the month, they’ll be dropping like flies.


So how much is Netflix paying for the privilege of streaming what they and Fox must believe is the greatest TV show ever?

Let me put it to you this way: They paid $2 million an episode to NBC for the privilege of bringing you "The Blacklist." You can also use this chart to determine how much Netflix is paying to produce original programming.


The Hollywood Reporter:
Under the deal between Netflix and Warner Bros. Worldwide Television Distribution, the streaming service will get exclusive subscription video on demand rights for Gotham in the U.S., territories in which Netflix operates, as well as some additional territories. Seasons of the series will become available after their initial broadcast dates starting in fall 2015.

"Gotham is the most anticipated new series of the fall season and we are thrilled to offer it to our members around the world," said Netflix chief content officer Ted Sarandos in a statement. "The Batman origin story is sure to have massive global appeal so it is fitting that, along with Warner Television, we have created a new model for distributing a show that international and domestic audiences will love."

Netflix declined to comment on how much it was paying for the rights. It recently paid a pretty penny for rights to NBC's The Blacklist, coughing up $2 million an episode for the series. Deadline first reported the news of the Gotham deal. Gotham, which takes place years before Bruce Wayne becomes Batman, centers on the early days of James Gordon (Benjamin McKenzie), who in DC Comics lore eventually ascends to the position of Gotham police commissioner.
I'm going to be honest with you. I don't think streaming reruns of Gotham or The Blacklist for the amount of money they are undoubtedly paying, is good for subscribers. Eventually Netflix is going to raise its rates, and the content will start to grow lackluster in many other areas as the big money goes to a chosen few with not much left over for anything else. 

How many of the package deals will Netflix be able to sign up when their cash flow is tied up in a few single series?  I don't have the answer to that, but maybe Police Commissioner Gordon does. Ask him.  We'll wait and see.

Thursday, May 23, 2013

Why Cable Monopolies and Internet Monopolies Continue to Suck the Life out of and Hold Their U.S. Customers Hostage.



Our designated cable company where I live is BrighthouseBrighthouse is in fact owned by Time Warner but operated by another company thanks to some fancy stock dealing.  In other words you can take it to the bank that when push comes to shove, in the end you’re still dealing with Time Warner. 

In my area where I live, the only way that Brighthouse keeps from losing customers is by bundling internet with TV and phone to make it look like you're getting a really good deal by combining the three.  That may be true if you can harangue them into a short trial installation such as those given by the Satellite companies, but after that expires they really put the screws to you and the deal is no deal at all.  But they figure you’ll put up with it because it’s cheaper then switching to Satellite for TV, and your phone service by another carrier, because they also know if you want any decent internet speed at all, you have no choice in the matter.

By the time I dumped Brighthouse, my bundled services were close to $200 a month.  The only pay channel I carried was Showtime because Audrey likes Dexter, Shameless, Californication, and some other Showtime stuff.  I also carried a smaller $6 package that included Encore and a few other lesser channels.   Well, it was supposed to be six dollars.

I had already made up my mind to try and get the bill down to a more reasonable figure.  We didn’t really need the phone service.  Everybody in this house has a cell phone so there was no real point to having it.  But when I told the Brighthouse representative I wanted to cut off just the phone service, the bill only went down about six bucks, even though the monthly statement always showed the phone service as being $30.  It’s called Monopoly math I guess.

When I said I wanted to get rid of the small encore package, the total price went up  because well, you see, I had been getting a deal and now I wasn’t.  It’s total bullshit nonsense designed entirely to discourage people from moving on.  But I’m smarter than that. I told them to shove the whole thing up their ass except for the internet.  I would have told them to choke on that service as well if we had one decent alternative.  But we don’t.

In most areas of this particular region, if you want good internet speed you really only have one choice.  That's Brighthouse.  They have a monopoly for the most part, although in some places in Bakersfield you can get Cox. 

So if you unbundle, Brighthouse jacks up the price for internet to $60  or more.  $70 if you want the mid range service which you practically have to have for streaming services such as Netflix, Amazon Prime and Hulu.  Well you do have a choice of the inconsistent slower speed if you don’t mind sitting and watching Netflix buffer the show you’re watching three or four times and hour.  The top tier will cost you even more.  Life is grand for big corporations with huge monopolies. 

The only internet alternative I have is AT&T who keeps sending us ads telling us that we can get fast internet service for the low “introductory” price of $14.99.  That "fast internet service" is in reality, "up to 3MBS".  In other words, forget streaming or doing much of anything besides browsing the internet.  Fine for a few, ridiculous for most.

This is after AT&T had promised the FCC that they would be providing better speeds in areas such as this.  That of course was total b.s.  It took them forever just to begin providing DSL service here at all.  I did use their service once, but that was before the days of Netflix, Amazon Prime, Hulu etc.  As Google Fiber slowly works it’s way around the country, I’ll be cheering them up although it’s doubtful I’ll live long enough to see them finally give Brighthouse a run for their money.

But I still saved money.  I switched to Dish and for the first year,  even after paying Brighthouse their King’s Ransom for internet service, I saved quite a bit.  For the second year, I’m still saving about $30 a month over Brighthouse, and this is with a package that includes the same Showtime and Encore packages we had before.

Better yet, the new Dish Hopper beats anything Brighthouse has by leaps and bounds.  For instance, I no longer have to worry about setting up to record particular network shows from ABC, CBS, NBC, or FOX in prime time.  It records all of them automatically.  Every single one.  And if you wait until the next day to watch a recorded show, it’ll skip the commercials for you on those programs as well.  Add a two terabyte external hard drive as I did, and you have more than enough room to record whatever you want.  Not that the space already provided didn’t do the job.  I had well over 500 shows recorded before getting the external hard drive and still had room left over.  But I wanted to keep a season’s worth of episodes on a few series so this arrangement just made that easier. 

On the downside, Dish is really not much different from the cable company despite it’s lower price.  You have to buy “packages” and often the networks you want to watch  are upper tier packages as this is what happened in my case.  Who knows what would happen if people were actually able to pay for only those networks they watched.  I could do away with well over 90 per cent of what I’m paying for.

Most of the smarter people I know have given up Brighthouse for either Dish or Direct TV.  In this area you don’t have to worry about storms, snow, or clouds or any of that other stuff that can cause Satellite reception to go haywire but from what I read that’s not as much of a problem as it was in the early days of Satellite TV.

If I had my own personal choice though, I would put a decent antenna system up on the roof and say goodbye to Dish as well.  We live far enough from any local stations that rabbit ears just don’t work.  We are also hindered by the fact that the signal sent out by the Bakersfield stations are terribly weak.

Two things hold me back.  Girlfriend Audrey watches a lot of shows, and second for health reasons I can no longer go climbing around on roofs and install an antenna system on my own.  And I can’t find anyone around here who does that kind of work anymore.

But I’ll look into it again and will see if I can’t talk the girlfriend into giving pay television the big kiss off when our Dish contract is up next year.  This is the last season for Dexter coming up so she won’t miss that.  Most of her other shows and a couple I watch, would be readily available with an antenna, although we would probably have to invest in our own DVR initially.  No big deal.  We’ll  still end up saving money over the space of a year. 

And one more word of advice if you have Brighthouse.  Don’t ever never be late paying your bill even by a few days because you somehow missed it, or just over looked it.  Why? 

Because they’ll send a guy around to hang a threatening notice on your door to let the whole world know you slipped up as if somehow you’re a dead beat because you didn’t get them their internet ransom demand in a timely fashion.  And then, they’ll charge you an extra $10 for having experienced the privilege of being shamed. 

I had this happen once.  When I called the lady at the company, she said this was their “new policy.”  In other words, another way to squeeze $10  more out of you.  I told her that their policy was a bunch of crap (I used stronger language) and that I had never ever come home and found a notice like that hanging on my door and I didn’t give a damn what their pathetic reasoning was, especially when I had been a customer for years and had never missed a single payment.  And if you think the $10 dollars goes to pay the guy for putting that crap on your door, think again.  Most of them live in your neighborhood or are working there anyway.  As a matter of fact, there’s a Brighthouse employee that lives two blocks from me.  I know this because the company truck is always parked in his driveway.

One thing for certain, when it comes to internet service, cable, or cell phone service, U.S. customers are screwed thanks to their representatives in congress constantly lining their pockets with a mountain of cash from these media giants and their continuing flow of highly paid lobbyists.  Overseas, internet connections are faster and a whole lot cheaper.  People in Europe would not tolerate shit like this, so why do we?

Sunday, May 5, 2013

Netflix Wishes You a Happy Mother’s Day. (And I do too)

The difference between Netflix and myself is that I don’t have any pretty red envelopes to send to you for Mother’s Day which falls on May 12th this year.  Unless I send you the ones I get from Netflix.  If you still rent Netflix discs as I currently do, you’ll have your own though.  But why should you want a Netflix envelope for Mother’s Day?

Because Netflix, not sparing any expense, is promoting the day as if it was Christmas, Easter, and Halloween rolled into one.  I don’t know what their envelope printing costs are or how much overhead they have trotting out a special run of themed envelopes but it can’t be cheap.   Yes, I know there is always advertising on the inside when you rip it open, but for Mother’s Day they’ve gone so far as to scribble stuff on the front and the back as well.  So I guess besides promoting Mother’s Day in general, Netflix wants you to know they have a heart of gold and are thinking of you, Mom, and apple pie.

I probably shouldn’t have noticed any of this.  I usually just rip open the big envelope to get the discs out.  Back when I was writing articles like this in regards to my Netflix viewing habits, then I would read what was on the disc holder in order to get the information I needed such as who was in the film and the year it was made.   I also scanned each envelope that I wrote about. 

My own mother passed away back in 2005.  She was just a few days shy of being 76 years old and spent the last few years of her life bedridden in a nursing home.   But one thing she still loved to do was to watch movies, especially some of the old classics.  The last movie I sat and watched with her was The High and The Mighty starring John Wayne and Robert Stack.  And she seemed to enjoy it.

One Christmas way before that, years before a series of strokes did her in physically,  the family chipped in and got her a VCR, back when they were still a bit expensive.   She loved it and was very appreciative of it.  Even if for some reason she hadn’t, we would never have known.   So I guess if anybody could have appreciated the sentiments behind the Netflix Mother’s Day advertising campaign, she would.

You’d have to really look at the front of the Netflix envelopes to notice anything different from the usual.  Each one has a pithy Mother’s Day phrase telling you what you should do for Mom on Mother’s Day.  But really, if you love your mother, do you need Netflix telling you how to treat her?  Well, maybe some of you do. 

These are the envelopes I received in the mail yesterday.  I don’t know if the three I received earlier in the week were of the same variety and I’ve already sent those envelopes to the shredder.  I’ve circled the Mother’s Day Sentiments in blue.

The back of the envelopes are a horse of a different color.  No, they are still red but they have have quite a bit of artsy fartsy fancy schmansy writing on them featuring motherly types quotes and remembrances courtesy of Hollywood Screen Writers.  It was the Forrest Gump one that caught my eye and enticed me to explore the situation further.

Inside?  Well, that’s where the advertisement comes in.  In each envelope Netflix gives you three Mother’s Day DVD suggestions. If my Mother were alive I’m pretty sure she would have liked the suggestions of The Cosby Show, The Brady Bunch, Leave It To Beaver, and Roseanne.  I’m pretty sure she liked all of those shows and would watch them over and over again regardless of how many times she had seen them.  On the second envelope, it gets a bit iffy.  I really don’t know for sure how much she liked animated features and if she had ever even seen an episode of The Simpsons.  She might have watched with some of the grandkids.

If she did, it was never while I was around.  But I wasn’t a grandkid.  But I don’t think she would have cared for Family Guy.  On the other hand, you could probably give Brave or The Incredibles a spin on the DVD player and I doubt if she would have objected.  She might even have enjoyed them.  Envelope number three is much like envelope number one.  All movies I’m sure she saw at some point in her life. The Thrill of it All and Please Don’t Eat The Daisies would have been especially enjoyable to her.  I have seen three of the four for sure and may have even seen Mrs. Miniver at some point in my life but if I did, I’ve long forgotten the details. 
Okay, so maybe this is just advertising to get you to rent more Mother’s Day films.  Maybe not.  There’s been far worse commercialism of the un-holidays like Valentine’s Day, Mother’s Day, and Father’s Day then what this is.  So I actually think it’s a good idea and really do appreciate the effort.  On the other hand, isn’t renting Mom a Blu-ray or DVD pretty much implying that you’re kind of a cheapskate?  Hell, do what I did with The High and The Mighty.  Buy her the dang thing.  Better yet, buy her a complete season or series of a TV show she really loves.  That’s my suggestion.  Or just spring for a whole year of Netflix rentals or streaming.  As Cousin Eddie says, “It’s the gift that keeps on giving the whole year round.”  

But take the advice on the front of the envelopes, kids.  Appreciate and cherish your Mothers while you still can.  They won’t be around forever you know.  Give them a hug, tell you how much you love them,  how much you appreciate the sacrifices they made for you and everything they’ve taught you.  Send them my Happy Mother’s Day wishes as well.  As for my mom, and all my grandmother’s and their grandmother’s, Happy Mother’s Day where ever you are!

Sunday, April 14, 2013

Weekend Box Office Report 4/14/2013: Jackie Robinson Hits a Home Run, Ends Racism

If only it were true.  Robinson went a long way to breaking the color barrier in Major League Baseball, but racism as we all know, continues onward to this day.  Where would the Tea Farty and many Republicans go and who would they vote for if they didn’t have their fearless leaders feeding into the paranoid delusions of their half witted followers that all minorities are out to get them?

I didn’t get to get out and see 42 this weekend, which was the number one film at the box office.  And I still haven’t made it out to find out if 3D dinosaurs are better than the 2D ones.  And time is running out on that one unless I want to invest in a 3D Flat Screen.  I don’t, not after having just invested in a 2D back in January.

Sometimes…..well most of the time, I hate living where I do.  Being 30 miles away from the nearest theater is a pain in the ass, not only because of the time it takes to get there and back, but because the cost of the gasoline you need to do it just adds to what is usually a pretty expensive outing anyway.  There have been many times I would have gone to see a movie during the week, but when you arrive home from your job at 5:00 or thereabouts, driving over sixty miles is far from being appealing no matter what the reason.

I have a nice enough blu-ray set up here at home, so I guess I shouldn’t complain.  Those movies I don’t make it out to the theater to see, I’ll watch from the comfort of my living room, even though I still prefer the theatrical presentation with it’s sticky floors, overpriced popcorn, crying brats, cell phone distractions, and the guy who sits next to me narrating the film on a continual basis.  Oh, and let’s not forget the fact that you can’t pause the action while you go take a squirt.

According to The Hollywood Reporter, 42 was given a CinemaScore of A+, and was like by all types of audiences be they male, female, young or old:

Financed by Legendary, whose CEO Thomas Tull personally produced the $40 million project, the PG-13-rated 42 recounts the career of Jackie Robinson. The film was written and directed by Brian Helgeland (A Knight’s Tale), and stars Chadwick Boseman as Robinson and Harrison Ford as the Brooklyn Dodgers general manager Branch Rickey. With an excellent A-plus CinemaScore from all four quadrants of the audience, it was embraced by moviegoers as it outperformed expectations, which had the movie opening in the mid-to-high-teen millions.

42 enjoyed something of a hometown advantage in Los Angeles, where the Dodgers now play: Of the top ten-grossing theaters playing the pic, five were in Los Angeles. “It played extremely well in large and small markets, urban and suburban, and we have a great road ahead of us,” said Dan Fellman, Warners president, domestic distribution. “Congratulations to Thomas Tull and Legendary for bringing the picture to us.”

The movie did play older: 83 percent of its audience was over 25, with 45 percent of the audience between 25 and 49. Gender-wise, it broke fairly evenly though, with 48 percent male and 52 percent female. While African-Americans contributed to the audience that turned out for the drama about breaking racial barriers, the film enjoyed broad appeal. “There’s not one pattern that jumps out,” Fellman said. The film is currently playing in 3003 locations, but Fellman expects to expand it further in the coming weekend.

And don't feel sorry for the Weinstein’s Scary Movie 5 either which only managed to scrape up a piddling $15 million which doesn’t at all compare favorably to the $40 million opening of it’s predecessor, Scary Movie 4.  The movie only cost about $17 million to make, and I’m sure it’ll make a profit from the rest of its domestic run and any other Euro’s it can scrape up overseas. You can alread preorder the DVD or Blu-ray if you wish.  Look for this pre-order price to come down quite a bit. 

I know this is going to sound bad but I haven’t even seen the first Scary Movie, let alone it’s long run of sequels.  The whole lame brain premise just doesn’t appeal to me and as long as this blog only has the equivalent of five visitors a week, then there’s no real reason to see some films I don’t want to put any effort into.  And besides that, aren’t most horror films already kind of a parody of themselves?

That doesn’t necessarily mean I’ll exclude bad movies from my viewing habits.  You should already know that from some of my previous Poo Poo winners.  But unless this blog miraculously rakes in $30 thousand a year so I can do nothing but write pointless crap twelve hours a day, I’ll have to keep my shit job until I can retire.  By that time I may be too decrepit to write at all.

On the other hand, Netflix does have the first two Scary Movies available for streaming and if they stay there long enough, I may get to them.  Maybe I’ll even be greatly surprised by their insightful humor and wicked parody of horror films.  Uh-huh.  I’ll let you know. 

There’s one other film I should mention before we get to the chart.  Tom Cruise’s Oblivion actually opened this past week as well.  But not in the U.S.  It hit the European circuit for a rather hefty total of $61.1 Million.  Good for first place in the international market.  It opens in the U.S. this coming weekend.  This is no longer unusual.  Many films have opened overseas before unfolding across the continental U.S.  Spielberg’s Adventures of Tin Tin played in Europe a long time before it arrived here because it was better known.  And there have been films that were declared flops in the U.S. that actually did fairly decent business overseas.  That’s the new world order, so get used to it.  Here’s the tallies:

Sunday, March 31, 2013

Take Me Out To The Ballgame – Turner Classic Movies Style

Monday, April 1st is the opening of the major league baseball season.  In actuality, the first game of the season is being played as I write, March 31, but I’ve always thought that particular Sunday Night Game Before Everybody Else Plays as a bullshit bush league move on the part of MLB and ESPN.  From the day they decided to pull that nonsense years ago, it pretty much crapped on one of baseballs time honored tradition.  That was, because they were the first professional team in existence, the Cincinnati Reds always had the honor of being the first team to open the season.  If their game started at one, all other games would usually start a tad later. 

This event is tantamount to being a holiday in Cincinnati.  They have a parade, there’s a lot of pre game hoopla,  and the local newscasts are taken over by the whole event as if Jerry Springer had just returned to town having been elected president.  Now, there’s a thought.

When I lived in Ohio, I made it a point to do my best to watch the event on television.  I never had a chance to be there in person, but I wish I had accomplished that feat at least once.  Despite the attempt by MLB and the almighty advertising dollars of ESPN to water it down, it’s still a big deal for the people of Cincy.  So the Astros's, the Rangers, Texas in general, MLB, and ESPN can go screw themselves.

I don’t follow baseball the same way that I once did.  I still keep track of the Reds and how they are doing by checking scores and the standings on occasion, but I couldn’t tell you too many names of the players on their roster or when was the last time I watched a complete game.  It’s not always been like that.

When I first moved out west, it was almost as if I hadn’t left the Reds behind.  Back in 2001 you could listen to the games for free on the internet by streaming from just about any radio station in the country and that included the Reds home of WLW in Cincinnati.

That didn’t last long and when MLB found out there was a buck to be made, that was the end of the freebies unless you did it illegally.  It’s not worth the trouble for me to bother. 

But all this accomplished as far as I was concerned was to make me less of a fan.  It was a cheapskate move on their part then and still is.  Charge all you want to for streaming video of the games.  I don’t care, because I won’t be paying.  But taking away the audio streaming rights from local stations was a pure b.s. move and I still feel the same way.

Turner Classic Movies is having their own celebration by broadcasting seven very classic almost forgotten baseball films.  All except one in living high definition black and white.  And I’m sure some of you will find them infinitely more entertaining than watching your team get their ass kicked over the course of 168 games again.  I won’t mention names.

You won’t see The Natural here, nor Field of Dreams, Pride of the Yankees, Eight Men Out or even Bang The Drum Slowly.  Nor such idiotic worthless crap as Little Big League or Rookie of the Year.  They showed Little Big League on my cross country flight once.  I gave thought to jumping out somewhere over the Grand Canyon.

The films you will be able to watch are as follows, with times being EDT.  Adjust accordingly for your own zone:

Of the films listed here, I am most familiar with the top three.  Of the others, the only one I have seen and know something about is Kill The Umpire.  

In that film, William Bendix plays a fanatical baseball fan named Bill Johnson who is forced to become an umpire to make a living because his love of the game interferes with his life.  Due to the fact that that he uses some eye drops on the day of his “tryout” game, he begins seeing double, so he makes every call twice.  The guy that does the umpire hiring thinks this is a pretty cool gimmick, hires him, and gives him the name “Two Call Johnson.” Later, he is nearly chased out of town when he makes a close call against the home team in a playoff game.  It’s harmless comical fluff and not a bad way to spend an hour and twenty eight minutes.

As for Fireman, Save My Child and Take Me Out To The Ballgame, I can’t recall having seen either one.  And since Take Me Out is a musical with Frank Sinatra and Gene Kelly, I’m sure I would have remembered it especially since I still have Kill The Umpire planted in my memory circuits.  Why I never crossed paths with it, well your guess is as good as mine.  But now I feel compelled to so I will record it tomorrow.

I also know absolutely nothing about Fireman, Save My Child except that it sounds more like a public service announcement than a baseball film.  The

IMDB gives this synopsis:

Joe Grant is an inventor, fireman and baseball player in his small home town. He gets an offer to play in a big team, he hopes to get more money for his inventions. But he is invited to present his invention to a fire-extinguisher company at the same time when he is supposed to play. Will he be able to show the effectiveness of his invention and win the game ?
The film stars Joe E. Brown, who as Jack Lemmon’s boyfriend Osgood Fielding III, delivered what is considered the ultimate, funniest line ever to end a film.  That was for Some Like It Hot (1959).

For my money the unsung gems are the first three films listed.  I’ve seen all of them several times over the years.  I wrote a brief review of Angels in the Outfield when I rented it from Netflix and back when I attempted to do something new in that regards.  That project turned out to be way more time consuming than I thought it would and you can’t do a movie review justice in just a paragraph or two so I’ve had to dispense with it for now.  You just as well write, “I liked the film.  It was good” because that’s about what it amounts to.  You can get a zillion comments like that on Amazon and IMDB anyway, which is why I put out the effort to do more.  Also because I just like doing it.

Please don’t mistake this version which has the great Paul Douglas as manager of the Pirates with the totally insipid Disney remake that came along in 1994 and included super angel special effects and people flapping their arms like they are angel wings at an Anaheim Angels game.  Believe me, it is the simplicity that makes the 1951 version so much better. 

In The Kid From Left Field, Dan Dailey plays ex-major league ball player Larry “Pop” Cooper.  Pop works as a peanut vendor who is more interested in what is what is happening on the field more than pushing peanuts.  At the same time, he teaches his son everything he knows about the game and he knows quite a bit.  He has way more knowledge than the manager of the team for which he works, the Bisons.  Through a series of circumstances, Pops gets fired from his peanut paying peanut job, his son Christie (Billy Chapin) becomes the bat boy, and then manages to relay the information imparted to him by Dad to the Bison’s roster, thus turning them into a contending team.  Eventually, it is Christie who becomes manager even though Pop is the one pulling the strings.  This was also remade as a Gary Coleman TV vehicle.  (Or should I say an Arnold Jackson and Benson DuBois get together?)  Forget that one as well and watch this one.   

In the case of, It Happens Every Spring, I’ve seen it many times.  In fact, I have a digital copy of it on my computer which I recorded on VHS off Cinemax years ago.  I transferred it onto my hard drive so that I could write a review that I still haven’t gotten around to.  I wrote one years ago for the IMDB, but most of my early reviews on there were a POS.  Now that it has returned to cable, I wish I hadn’t put it off.

The film is available on Amazon and from the Warner Archive Store on DVD.   I may wait until I can pick up a copy which hopefully is sooner rather than later.  But it’s a totally overlooked hilarious gimmick film, not acknowledged at all by Major League Baseball who views Professor Vernon’s  discovery as cheating.  Of course, there is no cheating in baseball, just steroids and an occasional spitter/greaseball.   The latter having been made into an art form by one Gaylord Perry.  Oh, and I guess Angels interfering in the field of play is okay too since MLB lent its license to that film.  Here is my plot synopsis from my original review:

 
Professor Vernon Simpson (Ray Milland) is a chemistry professor at a Midwestern college. He is in love with the Dean's daughter, Deborah Greenleaf (Jean Peters) and hoped that someday they would be married. College professor's salaries being what they were in the late forties, his only hope of being able to financially support Miss Greenleaf depended on an experiment he had devised that would one day change the world.

Like all normal American men of his day, Vernon gets caught up in the Rite of Spring better described as the opening of the baseball season.  He’s also  twitterpated by the Dean’s daughter as well so I guess the title does have a double meaning.

One day while in his lab working intently on his experiment, some of the young college students are outside practicing baseball. Unfortunately, an errant ball comes crashing through the window destroying the Professor's experiment and mixing his chemicals into a convoluted mess. Or so he thought.

While cleaning up the destroyed experiment, Vernon accidentally discovers that the mixture of chemicals left behind has the unique ability to resist wood. After testing the formula in his lab, he recruits the young college baseball players to scientifically examine the reaction of this chemical when applied to a baseball.Having acquiring enough data to prove to himself that when the formula is applied to a baseball, no hitter could touch it, Professor Simpson has no alternative but to offer his services to the St. Louis Team (you’re to take it for granted they are the Cardinals, although the Browns were also in existence at that time as well so choose one.  The Browns later became the Baltimore Orioles)  who are themselves in desperate need of pitching. Although skeptical at first, the owner of St. Louis gives Vernon a tryout in an attempt to embarrass him.  It is Vernon and his secret formula that teach the manager and the owner of St. Louis a thing or two, and they sign him to a contract that would pay Vernon $1,000 dollars for every game he wins.  A princely sum in those days I suspect.  At one point a newspaper shows that Vernon has won 38 games, and this is before the season is over and the world series where he pitches in at least another three.  If he were playing now, he would probably be paid at minimum, a million dollars a game.  Do the math.
If you can only catch one of these films, It Happens Every Spring should be the one. Paul Douglas is in this film as well, as a catcher who uses Vernon's formula as a hair tonic to hilarious results.  And if you can’t watch it, add it to your sports collection while you can.  Yeah, that’s a sales pitch. 

Have a great baseball season, hope your team does well, and in homage to Joe Nuxhall, a Cincinnati Reds broadcaster who should be in the Hall of Fame but isn’t, this is the old movie reviewer rounding third and heading for home.  Now go de-halo the Angels, Reds!

Thursday, March 28, 2013

Random Thoughts: Netflix Fail

I’ve been renting discs from Netflix for quite a while.  I’ve also been streaming since way back when they first started offering the service.  Back in the beginning, the streaming came free with the discs rentals but the selection was mostly major suckage.  Over all these years I’ve mostly been satisfied with the Netflix service, but over the past year or so, the disc rental department seems to be on a downward spiral. 

I guess Netflix has a reason for letting this side of the business go all to hell, but I’m not sure I understand why especially when it’s still profitable.  But in the last twelve months, I’ve returned more broken discs than I had in all the previous years combined.  And it’s really getting to be a pain in the ass. 

I guess I’m seriously considering unsubscribing, but if I give up the disc service, I’ll probably quit on the streaming as well.  After all, I still have Amazon Prime and do I really need both?  And Redbox Streaming is out there somewhere waiting in the wings as soon as they put it on one of my devices that I already own.

I’ve been on this Stallone kick for a couple of weeks and had the film Victory starring Sylvester Stallone, Michael Caine, and directed by John Huston,  in my DVD Queue.  Somehow along the way I had missed ever seeing the film so I was looking forward to it arriving.  Well it did arrive, on time, but cracked all to hell.  Exasperating and a pain in the ass for this to happen,  but something I’m learning to live with more and more every month when it comes to Netflix. 

They do give you a choice.  When you report it as being broken you can either have them send the same movie or just request for them to send the next one in your queue.  Just about every time except once I have requested the same movie.  If I didn’t want to see it, I wouldn’t have ordered it. And that’s what I did this time.  I requested Victory once again.

Keep in mind that when a disc is obviously unplayable as this one was, and you have to wait on a replacement, you’re kind of getting screwed.  Because instead of a two day turn around, it turns into a four day turn around and you have no movie rental during that time.  Even longer if it takes more than one day for the disc to get to you.  It’s not a great policy but one I understand.  Give someone an extra disc for their inconvenience and you end up with people reporting bad discs on a regular basis.

So finally the discs comes for the second time.  Immediately upon taking it out of the envelope, I notice there is writing scrawled across the front and it is anything but a good sign

And when I took the disc out as you can see from the graphic at the top of the article, it was toast.  I didn’t know whether to be exasperated at Netflix or one not too bright customer.  One thing Netflix makes very clear.  Don’t put a note in an envelope, and don’t write on it.  Nobody will read it.  That’s why you go on the web site and report a problem.  And it’s not that hard.  Two clicks and you’re done.  Practically everything at Netflix is done by machine, and if a human does sort the envelopes, they sure as hell don’t have time to read them from the few rare videos I’ve seen about the inner workings of Reed Hastings baby.

Obviously something was wrong with the disc before they even shipped it out.  It was had to at least have been badly scratched  up when some not too bright dingbat customer sent it back.  If only half the movie played, this person couldn’t realize that there was a serious problem?  Have people become that irrationally ignorant that they would actually think Netflix would send out half the movie?

So I get left holding the bag and now I had to decide whether I wanted to send it back and try for Victory again, or just get something else.  On top of that, when I report it, they’ll obviously pull the disc and surely must think I’m the dumb ass who wrote a message across the envelope.   I’m tempted not even to let them know, but then I would probably be putting the next person to get the disc in the same position that I was in.  And I’m sure they would anonymously be cursing me as being the stupid idiotic customer who scribbled on the front of an envelope.

I ended up reporting it.  But I decided to give up on Victory for now and will be watching Stephen King’s Thinner instead.  Or Christine.  Or the original Mighty Joe Young.  All fodder for future reviews. 

Back in December, I rented the movie Victor/Victoria.  It was broken and I sent it back.  I didn’t report it  but I probably should have.  The reason I didn’t was just a couple of weeks before that I had received the Alfred Hitchcock film Torn Curtain.  And it too was cracked all to hell.   I reported it and ordered it again.  Maybe I was becoming afraid that if I had too many broken discs, Netflix would pull my membership.  I do know they will cancel your ass if you suddenly report too many “lost discs.”  Was this the same thing?

Several years back I ordered the movie Fathom from Netflix.  It was a movie with Raquel Welch that I had seen as a teenager.  The first disc arrived broken so I asked for a replacement.  The next disc came from somewhere in Texas.  It arrived broken as well.  I decided to try again, but the next disc had to be shipped all the way from New York to my place of residence in California.  All in all, it took two weeks before I received a copy of Fathom that was playable.  

Now, Fathom is no longer available on Netflix but that’s not unusual.  I have my doubts these days if they are replacing any catalogue titles at all.  But you may console yourself with my review or order the movie from Amazon while it’s still available at all.  It’s been in and out of print.  So I just ordered a copy from Amazon while it was on my mind.  The fact that it is coming from an outside seller (but handled and shipped by Amazon so it’s okay) does not bode well for the future availability of Fathom.   And I’ll probably just break down and buy a copy of Victory from Amazon as well since it’s less than six dollars at the moment.

I had a grand total of seven broken discs from Netflix last year, and already have had two this year.  Once upon a time I was averaging one a year, and that one included discs that just wouldn’t play although there was no visible breakage.  There comes a time when you begin to wonder if it’s money worth spending since Hastings doesn’t even seem to even believe in that side of the business anymore.  That along with the fact that the catalog titles are starting to dwindle down as I see the word “saved” more and more every day.  I’m just not that enamored of the streaming selection that it would keep me around.  But we’ll see what happens.

Sunday, December 23, 2012

7 Worst Product Flops of 2012 as told by Huffington Post

Yes boys and girls and mommies and dads.  It’s that time of year when every web site and magazine has a best and worst list for just about every category imaginable.  Huffington Post has come up with it’s list of biggest flops of the past twelve months.

They are:

1.  Apple Maps
2.  Dodge Dart
3.  John Carter
4.  Sony Tablet
5.  Nokia Lumina 900
6.  Pan Am
7.  Ultrabook
8.  Playstation Vita

Now, I may disagree with at least one of these.  John Carter’s ranking comes from the fact that some people still of are the mindset that North American Gross is the only thing that counts.  In fact, according to Box Office Mojo, while Carter only made $73,000,000 domestically, it made over $209,700,000 in foreign theaters for a total of over $282 million dollars on a $250 million dollar budget.  That doesn’t even include movie tie ins.  DVD/Blu-ray sales, digital sales, pay per view or anything else.  Granted, the film may have been a flop and may never turn a profit but this idea of it being the biggest flop of all time falls into the Waterworld category, a film that fell into that mythical chamber of money making disasters when it in fact, turned a profit.  Blame Disney who took a $200 million dollar write of for letting production and marketing costs spiral out of control.  Then again, for the studio that showered George Lucas with $4 billion dollars for Lucasfilms, this is all chump change.

My son was one of those who bought a Playstation Vita.  He sent it back.  And with two products on this list is it any wonder that Sony is losing money hands over fists?

I didn’t even know that Chrysler had reassembled the Dodge Dart.  I owned one once – back in the 70’s. 

I intended to check in on Pan Am but the show was gone before I ever got around to it.  That happens to me a lot.  Is it on Netflix or Amazon Prime?   (Neither.  As it turns out the series won’t be released on DVD until the middle of January but you can preorder it.  You can put it in your saved queue on Netflix but that doesn’t mean anything as it’s never a guarantee they’ll stock it.  Especially these days.)

As for the Nokia Lumina, I upgraded my phone this year.  I went with the Galaxy SIII, the larger screen winning me over because when you get to be my age, the eyesight is the first thing to go.   I previously had the Apple 3GS and was conflicted about it.  I hate Apple, and I hate Apple fanboys even more.  And the Google maps app. on the Galaxy works great and the GPS locator has saved me a couple of times already.

Maybe I can come up with some kind of a list of my own over the next week or so.  We’ll see.

Monday, October 31, 2011

The Hunt for Red Netflix: Amazon Prime acquires ABC/Family Channel/Disney Channel content.

I guess Netflix has a nat buzzing around Reed Hastings head.  Once again Amazon Prime shows it means to stay in the hunt and make it’s own dent in the instant streaming market.  Another announcement, and you have to wonder when Netflix will begin acknowledging the competition.

Let’s be real, here.  There has been no real threat to the Netflix streaming business model before.  Yes, there were competitors, but not one understood the power of pay one price for a buffet smorgasbord of programming.  But Amazon seems to get it.  The question is how deep will they go before they raise the price?

As more people try Amazon Prime and become accustomed to the benefits, something may have to go.  I’m not sure even Amazon can absorb the high cost of free shipping and with programming for less than $4 a month.  Unless they make up for it in sales of other merchandise as people try Prime and grow to love it.

That may be what they are hoping for though.  If they are going to challenge Netflix, now would be the time as Netflix is attempting to conquer Europe.  But is Red Hastings moving too fast and spreading himself too thin in the process?  And will the cost of the European expansion for Netflix cause them to shortchange their North American subscribers? 

The biggest draw back to Amazon right now is that their User Interface on prime needs a lot of work.  There’s no sure way to even browse the movies, let alone make you a queue.  I think something along those lines would go a long way to solidify their growth.

Time will tell.  Here’s the announcement:

ABC Amazon content


Thursday, October 6, 2011

May I Have The Netflix/Qwikster (or whatever the hell it is) Envelope Please?---Uptown Saturday Night, Let’s Do It Again, A Piece of the Action

 

Back in the seventies, Sidney Poitier decided he wanted to stretch his directing wings a little further, called up his good friend Bill Cosby on the phone and said, “Let’s make a movie together.  We’ll both star and I’ll direct as well”

And Cos replied, “Nope, let’s make three of them.”  And that’s how we ended up with this Cosby/Poitier trilogy from the seventies.  Good story, right?  I thought so too when I made it all up.  You can actually find the true story regarding how these films came to be on the special features of two of them, that being Uptown Saturday Night and a retrospective on A Piece of the Action.  

After having been on a Doris Day binge, and having danced with Schwarzenegger as Conan, I decided to have a fling with Sidney Poitier.  Why these three, when there are so many great Poitier films to choose from?  Because I already own many of Poitier’s films, he’s always been Grade A in my book, and one of his films would be in my top ten of all time list.  So I decided to start with these because my recollection of them was mostly vague.

I did remember quite a bit of Let’s Do It Again which was a good sign.  I couldn’t  remember if I had seen Uptown Saturday Night or A Piece of the Action for sure,  although I was pretty sure I had seen them both somewhere in time.  So I thought it was high time I gave these films another viewing to see how they stack up.  One thing though, while they are considered a trilogy, these films are not related in any other way except that they starred Cosby and Poitier and that Mr. Poitier directed all three. So in fact, they live or die on their own.  Let’s get busy.

If there’s one thing about Netflix/Qwikster envelopes that’s outstanding, it’s their fine use of adjectives to make you want to see a film.  Right there on line two it says, “hilarious misadventure.”  And oh, how I wish it had been so.  But Uptown Saturday Night wasn’t very hilarious.  If you’re lucky, you may get a few seconds of laughs but not from anyone mentioned on this particular envelope.

At least the plot is pretty much on the money, minus a few details.  Steve Jackson (Sidney Poitier) is on vacation from his blue collar job when his best friend Wardell Franklin (Bill Cosby)  talks him into sneaking out late one night while the wives are sleeping to visit the legendary Madame Zenobia’s after hours joint.  Besides good hard liquor, there’s rumors of fancy women and illegal gambling which all turn out to be true. 

Once inside, Wardell ends up at the craps table where he hits a winning streak by playing along with a patron by the name of Leggy Peggy (Paula Kelly).   Right in the middle of this streak, the place is robbed by masked gun men.  Wardell is forced to turn over his winnings, Steve is forced to turn over his wallet.

The next day while reading his newspaper, Steve realizes that his ship has come in.  The lottery numbers he plays on a regular basis hit.  Steve and wife Sarah (Rosalind Cash) begin celebrating until Steve realizes that the winning ticket was in his wallet that was stolen in the robbery at Madame Zenobia’s. 

He enlists the help of  Wardell to find out who robbed the joint so that they can retrieve the winning lottery ticket.   Their first attempts don’t go so well.  They try just hanging out in seedy neighborhoods to get some information, but all it does is get Wardell arrested.  They then try to hire a private detective, Sharp Eye Washington (Richard Pryor), but as it turns out Washington is simply a con artist on the lam.

Their detective prowess next lands them in  the office of Congressman Lincoln (Roscoe Lee Browne), supposedly a man of the people, but he keeps a portrait of Richard Nixon on his wall when nobody’s looking.  He’s not much help to the guys until his wife shows up, who happens to be the one and only Leggy Peggy that had launched Wardell on his winning streak.  

She tells them to track down a hood by the name of Geechie Dan Buford (Harry Belafonte) and to locate another hood who goes by the name of Little Seymour (Harold Nicholas).  Later, they discover that Geechie Dan is at war with a mob boss called Silky Slim (Calvin Lockhart) who is trying to take over Dan’s territory, which in turn lands our two heroes in the middle of their dispute.  So who has the lottery ticket and how will the guys recover it?

To be honest, by the time you reach that point you probably aren’t really going to give a damn, because except for two or three scenes, the film is just not funny.  There’s a lot of talent involved, but most of it is wasted. 

Richard Pryor’s appearance is short lived, so don’t blink.  But this could be a good thing considering he’s ill used.  Strangely, he would practically reinvent the same type of  character two years later for Silver Streak.  The difference being that Grover is a million times funnier than  Sharp Eye Washington.  Granted, his screen time is about five minutes total here, but Poitier just as well had left it on the cutting room floor for what it’s worth.

Harry Belafonte’s thing  is to do a Marlon Brando Godfather impression,  which would be okay if you have your audience rolling in the aisles with laughter.  Instead the whole Brando Impersonation shtick just become tiresome after a few minutes.  It might have been a better idea to have Belafonte develop a unique character instead of a pale carbon copy of someone else that wouldn’t even make the grade in a Saturday Night Live skit.  At least not for as long as it goes on here.

What’s amazing to me  is that Bill Cosby just seems totally uncomfortable as if he’s unsure of himself.  For the most part, Director Poitier let’s Wardell carry the film and do his thing while Steve simply reacts.  And whether it’s the script or the direction, it’s hard to say.  But neither of them elicited so much as a faint chuckle from me.

At one point, when Steve and Wardell confront Little Seymour in a bar, Wardell does a long monologue, which Steve then lamely tries to imitate.  The problem is that the monologue wasn’t that good to begin with let alone have it repeated with Wardell coaching Steve on his delivery.  This is all followed by a big fight which involves some slapstick not worthy of the prowess of Larry, Curley and Moe. 

Poitier’s direction does nothing to lend a spark to the film either.  It’s pretty straight forward and workmanlike in a film that requires something more considering the weak premise it is based on.  It simply lacks imagination much in the way that the script lacks hilarity.

On the get it where ever you can bright side, Uptown is not exactly a total loss.  Paula Kelly and Roscoe Lee Browne are in fact outrageously funny and made me laugh out loud.  So if the Netflix envelope was talking about those particular actors, then yeah, I could go along with that.  But since they aren’t even mentioned in the description, you know this pair is not whom they were referring to.  When Leggy Peggy and Congressman Lincoln are around, the film comes to life for a few quick shining moments before the patient is then pronounced dead and unable to be resuscitated.

If Uptown Saturday Night shows up on Netflix Instant Watch, then I would recommend fast forwarding to the Paula and Roscoe scenes and skipping everything else.   It’s a shame they weren’t in a better film then this, or hell they should have just made a movie with these two characters.  I would have watched. 

I can’t really recommend Uptown on it’s entertainment value, but if you want to watch from a historical perspective regarding black cinema from the seventies than maybe that would be a reason to put it in your queue, or maybe if you want to watch the trilogy you’ll feel incomplete without it.  But as it is, I have no choice but to give this film a D, saved from total failure by the Congressman and Ms. Peggy.

A year later, Poitier and Cosby would team up again in this film which has a very clever title for the follow up.  Sort of like if at first you don’t succeed, try try again.  Sort of like practice makes perfect.  Sort of like once bitten twice shy.  Wait, that last one doesn’t work does it?  For the most part, Let’s Do It Again succeeds where Uptown failed.

The envelope only gives you basic details, hardly enough to make you want to put this in your Netflix/Qwikster/Whatever queue.  On top of that, the description gets it wrong.  That’s really a pet peeve of mine with Netflix/Qwikster/what was that stupid name again?  This happens way too often.  Granted, I’m not the world’s greatest movie expert, but if I were running a company I would make sure I would at least get the envelope right instead of having someone like me embarrass you with your inaccuracies.

First off, Clyde (Poitier) and Billy (Cosby) do not host the boxing match.  The boxing match takes place in New Orleans, and they  have nothing to do with “hosting” it.  It is in fact already a scheduled match between Bootney Farnsworth (Jimmie Walker)  and 40th Street Black (Rodolphus Lee Hayden) .  And second, they don’t recruit the hapless boxer, in the sense that he’s in on the plot.  Throughout the movie he’s never aware of his manipulation.  The envelope gives no details about how this boxer is to be manipulated which may seem like small potatoes to some, but it’s a very crucial plot point.  Never fear though, I’m here for you.  Because I care.  It’s all about you and your needs.  Are you buying that?  I didn’t think so.

Clyde and Billy head down to New Orleans with their wives Dee Dee ( Lee Chamberlin) and Beth (Denise Nicholas) in order to  find a boxing match they can fix, in addition to meeting the other criteria needed for the wacky plan to work.  They first must find a heavy underdog (Bootney) going up against an opponent (40th Street Black) with very long odds.  

Clyde, who learned how to hypnotize people in the army, must then put Bootney into a trance and convince him he’s the greatest fighter in the world.  Both Clyde and Billy, using funds they “borrowed” from the lodge then place huge bets on the underdog with the two main mob leaders in town, Kansas City Mack (John Amos) and Biggie Smalls (Calvin Lockhart). Biggie and K.C.  also happen to be bitter rivals much in the same way that Geechy Dan and Silky Slim (also played by Lockhart) were in Uptown Saturday Night.  But in this film, it plays out a lot better aided by the fact that we don’t have to put up with Harry Belafonte’s Don Corleone impersonation. 

Having a good idea is one thing.  Trying to implement it is another.  For one thing Bootney is well guarded in his hotel room.  Don’t know why that is since he’s such a crappy boxer and apparently in no danger from anybody unless it’s someone who got fed up with hearing him shout “Kid Dyn-O-Mite”.  But let’s not quibble over details. 

So getting to him and putting him under Clyde’s Evil Eye is rather tricky business that leads to more complications.  Other than that, it’s best for me not to give too much away.  Keep in mind though, just when you think the movie is about over it isn’t, because it’s never over until it’s over.  There’s a nice well played twist at the end that is sort of like putting the whipped cream and cherry on top of the ice cream sundae.

In Uptown, both Steve and Wardell had wives, but they were more or less window dressing.  In this film, they are actually an important part of the story and both of them have distinctly different personalities.  Clyde’s wife Dee Dee is your down home strait laced strait arrow gal.  Billy’s wife Beth is her opposite:  free wheeling and no holds barred.  In one scene in a fancy New Orleans restaurant, Beth and Clyde talk openly about their sex life  much to Steve’s delight and Dee Dee’s chagrin.  This one moment in it self is worth the rental, and  more fun than the entire hour and forty minutes spent on USN.  This 15 second clip will give you some idea as to what I’m talking about.

No doubt that some of you won’t even know who Jimmy Walker is unless you caught his act on TV Land or Nick at Nite reruns.  In the seventies, he starred as J.J.  in a family comedy called Good Times and stole the show out from underneath the two stars John Amos (who is also in this film) and Esther Rolle.  But too much of Walker’s  J.J. shenanigans can get on your last nerve.  And the earlier “Kid Dyn-o-mite” reference?  Witness it for yourselves.


Here he plays basically the same character, but not exactly the same.  J.J. was always brash and outgoing.  Bootney is shy and retiring, not good qualities when you’re a boxer trying to make it big.  After being hypnotized, he slips more into his J.J. persona and by golly it works.  Director Poitier obviously knew this as well and keeps Walker in check by trotting him out as Bootney just when the plot needs it and nothing more.  I’m grateful for that, but probably not as much as John Amos was. 

Speaking of TV characters, Denise Nicholas is as far removed from the do gooder teacher Liz McIntyre that she played in the show Room 222 as she could be.  Cosby and Nicholas are a perfect match .  There’s a reason Nicholas won three Golden Globe awards and she shows why here.  Unfortunately it always seemed as if the good stories were always going to student teacher Alice Johnson played by Karen Valentine.   And having seemingly stifled himself in the first film, Poitier loosens up this time around. 

He’s still the straight man for Cosby most of the time, but instead of just reacting to Cosby’s lines, this time he helps sets those lines up.  For his part, Cosby seems to have overcome whatever was holding him back as well and seems a lot more comfortable.  I really like this film.  In a way it reminds me of a film like The Sting.  It’s not always roll in the aisle type of hilarity although there are a few of those moments, but it stays amusing and unpredictable throughout.  Easily it is the best of this trilogy so I have no choice but to give a grade of B+.

A Piece of the Action is the third and final film in the Poitier/Cosby trilogy from the seventies, released two years after Let’s Do It Again.  But by my way of thinking, they should have done at least one more film.  I’ll explain why momentarily.

This film is quite a bit different from the initial two offerings.  For one thing, it would be difficult to label it as a comedy, or even a dramedy for that matter.  There’s very little humor on hand but before you go getting all pissy about it, I’m 75 per cent sure that there was never any intent to make this a laugh riot.  It starts out as more of an action/caper film than anything else, and in fact the two main characters, Manny Durrell (Poitier) ad Anderson (Cosby) don’t even know each other exist.

They are in fact thieves.   Dave is an accomplished cat burglar, and Manny is a con man.  Dave steals from the very rich, and gives unto himself.  Manny makes a big score conning mob boss Bruno (Titos Vandis) with help from some associates in particular one Bea Quitman (Frances Foster), important because she figures greatly in later developments.  

The opening sequences with Dave and Manny pulling off their cons and heists are particularly well done.  Unfortunately for them and for us, police detective Darth Vader Joshua Burke (James Earl Jones) has gathered enough evidence to put them both behind bars for about 30 years.  What exactly is this evidence and how did he get it?  I can’t answer that.  Not because it’ll give away part of the plot, but it’s because we’re never really told what it is that leads him to surmise who the two are. 

Maybe it’s not a big necessary detail that we need to know, but  a rather obvious plot hole that will bug the piss out of you especially in regards to Manny.  It would have been almost impossible for Burke or anybody else to know Manny was the one who pulled off the con since the police were never involved in any investigation or any funds reported stolen.  In other words, Burke would have had to have been part of the Psychic Friends Network or maybe an associate of Syliva Browne.  

Yes friends, the Psychic Network does live on and on and on via the internet, and you can track them down yourself if you are that gullible.  Minus Dionne Warwick of course, who quit the psychic business when the checks stopped rolling in.  Yes, you and I know PFN wasn’t around in the seventies and Ms. Browne didn’t make her big splash on TV until the nineties either.  But Burke didn’t know that and he could have communicated with them mentally over the space time continuum couldn’t he?  He seems to know everything else.  But hey, there was always The Not So Amazing Kreskin back then for him to buddy up with.  Oh horse poop, there I go getting way off track again.   Let’s see…..hmmmm….where was I?  Dave…Manning….con….heists…Burke…Okay, back on track.

Having retired from the police force, Detective Extraordinaire Vader Burke decides to use his information to blackmail both Manny and Dave.  Does he attempt to get the two crooks to pay him off in mucho dinero?  Nope.  Does he try to get Manny and Dave to work to together to pull off more heists and cons together, using their prowess to take out one underworld  criminal after another as sort of their own Mission Impossible duo? Nope, not that either.   Instead he forces them to give back to the community by working as volunteers for Lila French (Denise Nicholas) helping and aiding inner city kids to find jobs thus making the world a better place for them, and us, God, apple pie, and the United States of America.  Unfortunately though, it doesn’t necessarily make for a better movie.

Burke does all this in such a way that our two heroes don’t know who it is doing the  blackmailing.  But from the information that is provided to them, it is obvious that he has both Manny and Dave right where he wants them.  I think it’s called having them by the balls. 

At the school, they decide to split up.  Manny will stick around with the delightful young ones who have been assigned to the center by the juvenile courts as a last resort, and Dave will hit the streets trying to round up some employers stupid enough willing to take a chance on them.  And while doing these jobs, both will look for clues as to the identity of their blackmailing benefactor so they can get him off their case and go back to doing what they do best.

There’s probably another reason why Poitier gets the thrill of working with the troubled teens.  He’s been down this road before.  First, as one of them in The Blackboard Jungle, and after having been straightened out by Glenn Ford, hw went on to teach their British counterparts in To Sir With Love.   But the kids in those films seem like the Vienna Boys Choir when compared to the nasty bunch he gets saddled with here.

And while all of this is going on, Dave who is supposed to be using Lila to get information develops a crush on her.  Manny already has a girlfriend that he lives with, Nikki McLean (Tracy Reed).  But she’s here for two reasons.  The first reason is so that we can have a strange scene where her doting parents come to visit their daughter who is living in sin.  I think this is supposed to be the comedic portion of the movie for all those who entered the theater thinking they were going to get another film like Let’s Do It Again. And the second reason is to be there when the plot calls for it late in the film.

To add to Dave and Manny’s misery, especially Manny’s, Bruno has not given up on finding the person who conned him and took his money, and eventually he gets a lead which helps him close in on the culprit, that being Manny.  And Bruno is no fun loving Mob Boss like the ones in the previous movies.  This guy means business, and no Cosby monologue is going to discourage him in the least. 

To say this film is schizophrenic is an understatement.  What we have  are two entirely different films trying to mesh together, but it’s the old oil and water story.  You just can’t get those suckers to mix no matter what you do. 

We have the film where Manny and Dave are thieves and con-artists being chased down by the mob, while trying to locate the man who is blackmailing them.  And then we have the story of Manny and Dave trying to turn the young and the restless into Citizens of the Year. 

In fact the troubled youth story is a real downer most of the time.  There is one particularly cruel scene between a student, Barbara Hanley (Sheryl Lee Ralph) and the instructor Sarah Thomas (Hope Clarke) that is so intense in it’s cruelty that the film never really recovers from it.  It  makes one dislike these students to the point where we begin to not really care what the hell happens to them, and the only thing we really want from this point on is the Manny/Dave/Bruno/Blackmail plot.  As for the scene I’m talking about, you’re in luck.  Or maybe not, it depends on your feelings about it.  But someone did upload it to YouTube so decide for yourselves.

Sheryl Lee Ralph gets mean and nasty in A Piece of the Action

Remember when I said they should have made a fourth film?  This is what I meant by that.  If they wanted to make another film dealing with these kids, then they should have done that.  They had a good film going in the beginning, then did a 180 degree turn and tried to make it about something else while still keeping elements of the original idea going on the side.  Thus one story is nothing but a distraction from the other.  You can do things like this in a film, but when you make that spin, then your film has to go totally in that direction.  You can’t have it both ways.

Case in point, would be Hitchcock’s Psycho.  For the early part of the film we believe we are watching a film about embezzling.  Then, in one scene Hitchcock changes the game and makes the film about something else altogether, and that is what the film is about and it stays there for the rest of the movie.

In this film, they try to have their cake and eat it too.  Once the work at the center becomes part of the film, they should have either focused on that or not gone that route in the first place.  Blackboard Jungle is a good film because it has focus.  The same can be said of To Sir With Love.  Could you imagine Poitier’s Mr. Thackery taking a sabbatical in the middle of that film to go pull a heist?  Neither could I.   To make matters worse, after this scene and another one like it, they try to bring in Nikki’s parents for the previously mentioned comedy relief, and it just ends up being idiotic, stupid, as if they had spliced it in from some other film.  I’m not denying the well meaning intentions involved, or that the acting in the above scene is anything but excellent.  But like I said, maybe they should have done one more film instead of cramming all of their ideas into this one.

I can’t really fault any of the actors here.  They all do well, so I suppose I could fault  Poitier, who as a director should have recognized the problems with the script.  Or I can just blame the writers who weren’t sure what kind of a movie they wanted to make so we get this instead.  The film is certainly worth a rental.  You won’t hate it.  But you may start wishing for Manny and Dave to pull off another con or some big heist.  I never thought I would see the day that I wished for J.J. to make an appearance, and if you make me wish for that I have no choice but to give you my grade of  a C.   It’s a nice effort that ultimately fails.

But I’ll leave you with something that doesn’t fail and is pretty cool to boot.  The Staple Singers and their rendition of Let’s Do It Again.