Clyde’s Movie Picture Show Quick Quiz 101.0

Every once in a while I would get an urge to throw up a quick quiz on my Clyde’s Stuff Facebook Page.  Sometimes they were fairly easy.  Others were real stumpers.  I never could tell which would be which. 

Generally when I think up these questions, it’s while watching a film or just browsing through my library.  I’ve been trying to get a copy of the film from which I made these screen captures and finally succeeded in a roundabout way.  I try to make these quizzes as offbeat as I can and not the usual run of the mill bull crap the now proliferates your timeline on Facebook like a case of the Zimbio bubonic plague.

The actress in this scene deserved an Oscar.  Well, she would have deserved one if they had a category for best actress being dead while your corpse melts in phony assed flames that come no where near you.  But the film was a monumental work of art.  I say that because it carries a 5.2 rating on the IMDB whereas I wouldn’t have given it more than a 2.2.  If that much.  So there must be some artsy fartsy thing going on here that I don’t know about to not see it’s 5.0 or better greatness.  This is definitely Clyde’s Movie Palace material if I ever get back to doing that gig.

Enough of that though.  It’s very simple.  Name the actress being charbroiled, and the name of this legendary movie. The prize?  There isn’t one. Not unless this blog starts filling my pocketbook with a big influx of cash and that hasn’t happened in the ten years it’s been here.  But it’ll make you feel smarter than anybody else so that’s your reward. 

Rambo…..and friends.

 

Sylvester Stallone doesn't get older. He only gets more wrinkles. Just when you thought it was safe to go back into the jungle...or wherever, here comes Rambo: Last Blood.

And it looks like Rocky may be coming back as well. This time as a trainer for Apollo Creed's Grandson.

No word on if Gabe Walker will be climbing Mt. Everest in the near future. Come to think of it, I think Michelle Joyner may still be falling and hasn't landed as of yet. There may still be time for Gabe to race down the mountain to catch her, but only if he hurries.

If you've never seen Cliffhanger you'll have no idea what I'm talking about so that's on you.

Variety:

After months of speculation, Sylvester Stallone has finally announced the title for the fifth (and seemingly final) “Rambo” movie, “Rambo: Last Blood.”

The actor simply tweeted earlier this week that he’ll be filming a gangster biopic about Gregory “the Grim Reaper” Scarpa after shooting “Rambo: Last Blood.”
Seven years have passed since Stallone last reprised the role of Vietnam vet John Rambo. The last film, “Rambo,” earned $113 million worldwide.

Since 2008, he’s talked about both retiring the character (who first appeared in David Morrell’s 1972 novel “First Blood”) for good and bringing him back for a last hurrah. Stallone apparently decided on the latter as he’ll be writing and directing and “Rambo: Last Blood,” in addition to starring in the film.

Stallone will be returning to another familiar franchise this month. He also tweeted that he’s headed to Philadelphia to play Rocky Balboa for the seventh time in director Ryan Coogler’s “Creed.” He’ll play the trainer of Apollo Creed’s grandson, portrayed by Michael B. Jordan. Coogler last directed Jordan in 2013’s critically acclaimed “Fruitvale Station.”

Fifty Shades of Grey–Hot or not?

I’m still leaning towards not.  I think someone chickened out when faced with the reality of the explicitness of the Fifty Shades of Grey novel.  Whether it was Universal Studios (my guess in an attempt to hedge its investment) or the actors or the director, or choose your own culprit(s).  If it was Universal, the irony will be that they could possibly have actually hurt themselves more than help themselves.  Ask anybody who has read the book: Cleanliness is not next to Godliness in this case.

Possibly at least one actor could be a fly in the ointment as well which makes you think that because of Charlie Hunnam’s unexpected departure, they were forced into signing Dornan with not much time to consider too many alternatives. 

In a recent interview Jamie Dornan came off as a stodgy really uptight prude to the point where he had it written in the contract not to show his penis on film.  So he’s going to have to be one helluva actor to be convincing as Christian Grey.  In a key role, Dornan may be a huge mistake.

 

Dakota Johnson on the other hand, at least has a hint of being Anastasia Steele and appears to be willing to go the distance. 


At any rate, Universal’s Focus Features will try to convince you with this trailer that Fifty Shades is going to be really hot, even if they did clean it up for the mass consumption of audiences while crapping on those who made the book a phenomenon in the first place.  But I’ll let you decide for yourself.  Trailer 2:  Hot or Not.

Redbox Mucks Up Their Web Page Some More. I Think I’m Done.

Sometimes, you have to wonder what goes through some the mind of some corporate web designers or the big shot executives who tell them what to do.  Lately, any time Redbox has decided to tinker with their web site, they manage to really muck it up. 

I’ve always had my little quibbles with Redbox.  Many of their practices are hardly consumer friendly and they seem to be totally unwilling to make the effort to change.  Make a complaint and you’ll get a brush off.  Oh yeah, occasionally they’ll try to give you a free rental when what they should be giving you is a refund for their incompetence.

You may know that drill.  You reserve a movie and you go over to get it from the machine a few hours later and the machine is broken and not working.  And since you have no clue as to when it might be working again you can either accept your losses or call the Redbox number where the poor patsy on the other end of the phone will try to shove that rental credit on your ass, even if you have no idea when you might get to use it.

Refund?  That would be too much trouble.  After all they don’t really want to give you your money back even though its no fault of yours the machine wasn’t working.  Because that would inconvenience them, and one thing corporate big wigs don’t like is to be inconvenienced.  Better the customer put up with their lousy policies and bullshit nonsense instead of issuing a damn credit on your Visa. 

I can hear them now:

”Hey what’s the big deal?  We have a few million customers so why does one poor shlub in some hick town matter?  Let him/her get pissed off.  Beside, where the hell else are they going to go?  Blockbuster is no longer around, and Netflix takes forever.  We’re practically a monopoly so why should we give a damn?”

Yeah, I think that’s the same attitude Blockbuster took for years and look at them now.

One time I had four movies on reserve at a particular store that has two Redbox machines.  They were in Machine B.  Of course when I went to pick up the movies, it was machine B that wasn’t working at all.  It had even been unplugged to keep people from trying to use it.

This time I called the Redbox number on my cell phone right there in the store.  Basically their answer was that I was shit out of luck.  Could you switch my movie rentals to Machine A since all four movies were in that machine ready to be rented.  Nope, couldn’t do anything like that.  That would be too difficult. 

Could I get a refund?  Nope, and you could almost hear the person on the other end chuckling to themselves over that idiotic notion.

What they could do was give me a credit and I could rent the movies.  Well, eventually I could.  The problem was that their computer, which must be a Commodore 64 the way they run things, would continue to show me with four movies reserved until that reservation ran the clock out.  And the limit on movie reservations at one time is 5.

Therefore, I couldn’t even use the credit until after 9:00 the next night when I would have no use for the damn things because we in the real world have to work this thing called a job. 

There have been other instances as well and if you do a few searches on the internet, you’ll read some real horror stories.  But honestly, with their latest act of corporate stupidity and uselessness, I think I’m done.  You finally have to draw the line somewhere just to keep your sanity.  You can’t say, “What were they thinking?” because obviously they weren’t, and they don’t.  Sometimes policies are invented just to annoy you.

It used to be when you went on the Redbox web site, after having saved “your locations” you could click on one of them and see what was in that particular machine at that location at that moment in time.  If a movie wasn’t showing either it wasn’t in the machine or all copies were checked out.  If they were all checked out you could scroll to the bottom of the page and see a somewhat faded entity marked “not available.”  Pretty simple.  Then you would just click on one of your other locations (if there was one) to see if the DVD or Blu-ray was there, or just choose something else.

In my case, there are three Redbox Vending Machines within a half mile or so radius from where I live.  One of these is just two blocks away.  After that, you have to travel eight miles to the next Redbox and unless you have Quaker Oats for brains, you’re not going to make that trip.  You’ll just wait for the movie to arrive or be checked in or whatever.

But now you no longer know if it’s in or not because Redbox Executives in their infinite wisdom decided to no longer make it readily apparent whether a movie was at your chosen location or not.  Now, they simply list all their movies available at all locations, whether it’s checked out or not or whether its in the machine or not.   In my town, which seems to be last on the delivery list, this often happens.  What a machine in the big city may get on Tuesday, we may get by Friday, if we’re lucky.

So now when you click on a title that’s not even at the location you are browsing, it says “Find DVD nearby” instead of just telling you the damn thing wasn’t there in the first place.  And just checking one certain movie right now, I’d have to drive 30 miles to get it.  Some recommendation that is.

 

Why the change?  Why not just tell you up front that a movie is not at the location you’re browsing and let you make your own choice as to whether to check a box that isn’t 30 miles away?  It worked for me just fine.

Because like politicians, Redbox thinks you’re too stupid to do that.  And I guess they think somebody’s willing to spend $10 worth of gas to drive to a Redbox and get $1.20 movie so they might as well make that sales pitch for the stupid people.  It’s just idiotic and unnecessary.  And worse, you still don’t know if all copies of that movie are all just checked out or if it even arrived at that location yet.  IF ITS NOT AT THAT LOCATION JUST SAY SO INSTEAD OF ME JUMPING THROUGH HOOPS TO FIND THAT OUT!

Really, I think I’m done.  I’ll just order them from Netflix.  It may take longer sometimes, but at least I can watch them at my leisure and not deal with the frustrating antics of Redbox and their total disregard for customer convenience.  I can only be annoyed jumping through corporate hoops before I change the game plan.  Having helped do Blockbuster in, I don’t think copying that company’s little regard for their customers is a great idea.  I’m sure with all their customers, Redbox won’t miss me.  But I won’t miss them either.

The Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part One Trailer

I’m sure no one will put this up will they?  Here it is anyway.

Robert Downey Jr.: No Ironman 4 “in the pipe.”

So as coincidence would have it, after last night's movie musical clip of Heart & Souls (see my Facebook page for that) comes this bit of news. 

Robert Downey Jr. says there is no Iron Man 4 in the pipe, although he has finished filming Avengers: Age of Ultron  and is signed for the follow-up.  And after the enormous amount of money he signed for to do those two films, I doubt if he needs the cash.  If they want him to do another, they may have to mortgage the Studio.  The ball is in his park, not theirs, and that’s the way it should be.  I don’t think the series would have gotten to where it was without Robert Downey Jr.

From Variety:

Don’t hold your breath, Tony Stark fans.

In a new interview with Variety, Robert Downey Jr. shot down speculation about a fourth “Iron Man” movie. 

“There isn’t one in the pipe,” Downey said. “No, there’s no plan for a fourth ‘Iron Man.'”

The actor, in Toronto to promote his new film “The Judge,” signed with Marvel and Disney for two “Avengers” sequels, which hit theaters summer 2015 and 2018, but has been reluctant to commit to any more superhero films.

When asked if he would “let” somebody else play Tony Stark, Downey laughed off the idea.

“I like that the idea is that it would be up to me, like I’m casting director for Marvel,” he said.

“Don’t give it to anybody else,” his “Judge” costar Robert Duvall advised.

Like the article states, don’t hold your breath.  Use the Variety link to read more and also link to info about Downey’s new movie, “The Judge.”

Cloud Files Hacked, Nude Photos Appear of Jennifer Lawrence, Kate Upton, and others.

One of the actresses, initially denied the pictures were of her.  That's the worst thing you can do.  It's like trying to hide the fact that you did something wrong.

None of these ladies did anything wrong.  Should they have been more careful in regards to where they put these?  It's hard to say.

I keep files in the cloud, but not anything anybody would really care about or bother with. 

But a person should expect a certain amount of privacy, security, and safety from companies like Google, Apple, and Amazon.  And if they can't provide that privacy and protection, then it's best to use some common sense and discretion in regards to what you keep in the cloud.

As I mentioned earlier though, with these companies offering free cloud service for photographs, you may not even know that your private pictures are being uploaded if you accidentally authorized the service or did it without knowing what you were agreeing to.

Variety:

Nude photos of “Hunger Games” star Jennifer Lawrence, Kate Upton, Ariana Grande and Kirsten Dunst, among others, leaked online Sunday morning in one of the biggest celebrity hacking scandals in recent memory. The images, which first appeared on image sharing site 4chan, show most of the celebrities nude or in provocative poses. A spokesperson for Lawrence confirmed the images were of the Oscar-winning actress and blasted the hackers for their “flagrant violation of privacy.” “The authorities have been contacted and will prosecute anyone who posts the stolen photos of Jennifer Lawrence,” her representative warned.

So, a developing story. What makes this different is the fact that so many accounts were hacked and exposed, and if they were all kept by the same service, be it Apple or whomever, it will not be good for them. My advice: As soon as it is confirmed which company was hacked, I'd find other places to put my files and cancel the account. And remember: Don't put any personal information be it pictures or documents in the cloud. Use an external hard drive.

Are You Going to Sit Through Two Nights of Houdini?

While I realize that this is only one review, Houdini starring Adrien Brody, in no way shape or form sounds like anything that I would like to sit through for two nights in a row. I don't know if you've ever seen the Hollywoodized version from 1953 starring Tony Curtis and Janet Leigh but I'll take it any day of the week over this mind-boggling heavy-handed psychobabble claptrap.

Yes, I know the Curtis version is highly fictionalized but when I watch a movie about a famous magician I want to be entertained. If I want to see someone psychoanalyzed, I watch The Sopranos.

And if I want to see Adrien Brody, I put in my Blu-ray of King Kong.

From Variety:

Brody represents a casting coup of sorts for the producers and History, but almost from the opening moments, there’s a grating aspect to the film, as if this were the first bio about an overachiever with mommy issues. Perhaps that’s because Houdini, in monotonous voiceover, insists on analyzing what motivated him: “Unlike other people, I don’t escape life; I escape.” (A veteran screenwriter, Meyer’s adaptation is based on a book published by his father, Bernard C. Meyer, in the 1970s.)

Nor is there much supporting help for Brody, with Kristen Connolly coming off as a nag playing Houdini’s perpetually concerned wife, Evan Jones as the architect behind his many tricks, and practically no one else registering.

Leaping about in time, the movie chronicles Harry Houdini’s upbringing as Ehrich Weiss, a Jewish immigrant from Budapest (where, incidentally, the miniseries was shot), parlaying his early love of magic into a stage act that eventually made him one of the most recognizable figures of his era. Along the way, the project takes detours to chronicle some of the other historical figures Houdini encountered, which included using that access to spy on behalf of the Americans and British before World War I.

The mini’s second half, meanwhile (after the most anticlimactic opening-night cliffhanger imaginable), focuses squarely on Houdini’s determination to contact his beloved and departed mother (Eszter Onodi), leading to the war on mediums he conducted, branding them psychics and frauds. That prompts an unexpected run-in with Sherlock Holmes creator Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, whose wife claimed she could patch Houdini in to the great beyond.

Yes I do realize that there were two other versions of Houdini. One of them starred that Starsky fellow (Paul Michael Glaser) without Hutch and costarred Archie Bunker's daughter Gloria Stivic (Sally Struthers). But one of my exes was a devout Starsky and Hutch fan, and rammed it down my throat every chance she got.  So I cannot be objective in regards to Starsky's Hutchless Houdini. However, I might record it and watch Mr. Brody in the future sometime between now and the next decade.  If I’m not doing anything important.  You know, like living.

Update:  Here’s another opinion from Roger Ebert’s leftover movie review web site.  It’s not any better.

There’s just way too much filler between those moments of passion. Speaking of passion, Brody and Kristen Connolly, as his put-upon wife who was more of an assistant than a partner, have zero chemistry, although it’s not really the fault of the charming “House of Cards” star as much as the screenwriters who gave her no character with which to work. Again, it comes back to the writing. When Houdini and wife argue about how she's putting him in a box in their marriage and she says “You’re only happy in a box!,” even the most forgiving of melodrama fans will roll their eyes.

OUCH!

What is my favorite Robin Williams film? The World According to Garp.

Robin Williams starred in some really good films over the years, offering up some wonderful performances.   But he also starred in many middle of the road films, and had his share of clunkers as well.

But even watching a movie like RV, I always felt that Williams gave it a 100 per cent effort regardless of the material he was working with.  Sometimes he was able to rise above it, sometimes not.

I’ve been asked several times over the past few days what my favorite Robin Williams film is and after considering all of his films that I have enjoyed, I always came back to the one I still find the most fascinating.  That would be The World According to Garp. 

I don't know why but this film often seems to be overlooked when talking about Robin William’s resume.  The rating for it at the IMDB is 7.2, and that's certainly nothing to sneeze at.  But what perplexes me is the attitude that Warner, who owns the rights seems to have towards it. 

Yes, you’ll repeatedly hear about Dead Poet’s Society, Mrs. Doubtfire or his academy award winning turn in Goodwill Hunting but seldom do people mention Garp these days.  It seems to have gotten lost in the shuffle, and there’s no reason for a film this well acted and this well made to be left for dead.

 

I had the film in my Netflix queue for well over a year in the number one spot.  It was on very long wait in the "expected availability" during that time and never budged or nudged upward to even just “long wait”.  Netflix should start a new category and call it "You'll Get it When Hell Freezes Over."  And checking now, I see it is no longer available and if you know anything at all about Netflix, that’s the end of that.

Warner, has relegated the film to it’s Burn On Demand DVD-R program which is sort of like the shit end of the DVD Stick.  When they do that, seeing a movie get a decent blu-ray release is practically nil. But, it’s better than nothing.

But Garp should have a blu-ray release with all the trimmings. If you've never seen it or read the book, there's a lot going on here.  So much so I wouldn't even begin to run through the plot with you but if you want to know just look up the synopsis on the internet where I'm sure you'll find it.  The film was released in 1982, and it came after the disastrous Robert Altman version of Popeye (which currently has no DVD release).  And the failure of Popeye has more to do with Altman’s insistence on doing his artsy fartsy shtick than anything Williams did.  The film was an incoherent clumsy bore.  (Caveat: Ebert gave Popeye *** 1/2 stars, but I don’t see it). But I’ll leave that criticism for another day.


Ebert gave Garp three stars and you can read his review here.  But those that have read Irving’s book and seen the film are just as likely to come away with a completely different interpretation.  The movie is a discovery of the unexpected, at times uplifting, but tragedy is always lurking around the corner. As  Ebert puts it, “Garp is bleak, but it has something to say.”

In some ways, the events of Garp do mirror the image we have of Robin Williams.  He has a strong will to overcome, but he cannot ignore the bleakness of humanity that surrounds and engulfs him.  Garp believes that life has much to offer, but when one tragic event leads to another, it’s as if he’s beating his head against the wall.  But he never succumbs to the cruel jokes played by destiny.

 

Could you imagine if this movie had been given a commentary track with Williams, Lithgow, and Glenn Close?  Lithgow was nominated for a Best Supporting Actor Award as transsexual ex-football player Roberta Muldoon.  And Glenn Close was nominated for a Best Supporting Actress Award as Garp’s mother, Jenny Fields. 

But Warner please take note:  As I write, every single one of Williams films on blu-ray is now on back order from Amazon.  This film deserves to be yanked out of the forgotten pile and placed front and center. Many people believe that Good Morning, Vietnam was his first good film. A few Altman devotees believe it was Popeye.   It’s too bad that Garp came immediately after Popeye, and five years and a few other forgettably bad films before his shining moment as Adrian Cronauer.  This terrific film has just been lost in the shuffle.
You can purchase the DVD-R either through the Warner Archives Store where I got mine just a few weeks ago when they were having a sale or through Amazon.  But it's the same DVD-R disc.

Or, you can buy it digitally through Amazon for $7.88 so if you have a way to view it that way, that might be your best bet since it's HD.

There comes a moment just as the funeral of Garp’s grandfather (Hume Cronyn whom along with Jessica Tandy as the Grandmother are terrific in small roles) is ending, and immediately before we transition from the years of Young Garp (wonderfully played by James McCall) to the adult Garp played by Williams.  And in a way, besides summing up Irving’s Garp, it may have foretold Williams own life.

Young Garp (to his mother Jenny Fields):  Now you don’t have a father either.
Jenny: I know.  Everybody dies.  My parents died.  Your Father died.  Everybody dies.  I’m going to die too.  So will you.  The thing is to have a life before we die.  It can be a real adventure, having a life.

On the outside, Williams always seemed to be living the adventure, bringing joy and touching the lives of so many.  But it was never enough to placate those demons that haunted him throughout his life.  And because of that, the world will forever be a sadder place.  Because as Jenny said, everybody dies.  Sometimes, way too soon.

Here’s the Fifty Shades of Grey Trailer which premiered today.

Because gee, it’s not like anybody else will be posting it.

The Stupidest Trailer/Teaser I’ve Ever Wasted My Time On: Disney’s Live Action Cinderella

Disney’s live action version of Cinderella is not due to hit theaters until March of next year.  But they decided to put up a teaser anyway. 

Disney sent me a link in my email, and YouTube has the clip as well. 

From Variety:

“Downton Abbey’s” Lily James stars as Cinderella with Cate Blanchett as her step-mother. Richard Madden, Stellan Skarsgård, Holliday Grainger, Sophie McShera, Derek Jacobi and Helena Bonham-Carter also co-star.

The film is directed by Kenneth Branagh (“Thor”), exec produced by Tim Lewis and produced by Simon Kinberg, Allison Shearmur and David Barron. “Cinderella” is inspired by Disney’s 1950 animated film.

And that’s all the information you need, and that you’re going to get at this moment in time.  So will the Teaser get you all excited and want to head to the theater next spring?  No, but it might make you think about taking a stroll to the nearest shoe store.

The video consists of a shoe, twirling and spinning around.  That’s it.  Nothing more.  So if watching one minute and fifteen seconds of a glass shoe is your idea of fun, have at it.

Oscars 2014: In The End, None of it Matters

Wolf of Wall Street was the most daring, most interesting, best acted,  movie of 2013.  Nothing will deter me from firmly believing that.  Catching Fire received marvelous reviews, but as usual crowd pleasing money makers are often ignored.  It was second on my list last year.

Third was Gravity, but as I have said, the margin of preference between the three is miniscule. 

No doubt that 12 Years A Slave is a good film.  Yes slavery, racism, and discrimination, are terrible and I know that as well if not better than any film maker who wants to hammer me over the head with that fact. I crusade against the terrible injustices of this world constantly.  But when you get down to it, wasn’t 12 Years really just Roots on Violent Steroids? 

How many times do we have to be hit over the head with the fact that slavery is bad, discrimination is bad, and racism is bad at the Oscars?  It seems to become an annual event and starting from that premise results in an automatic nomination, whether the quality of the film is deserving or not.  And after a while, the constant drumbeat waters down the message. 

Conservatives will never be convinced.  Red States continue to act like they won the Civil War and Lincoln never existed.  Everybody else already gets it and you’re preaching to the choir.  But just as they did by proclaiming Crash over Brokeback Mountain as the winner, voters again took the safe easy route and gave the Best Picture not to the best film, but again to what they deem the best film that is most relevant.  Don’t go out on a limb, Hollywood.

The real purpose of giving the Best Picture Award to a film topic  straight out of the let’s be topical safe zone was never more evident when they chose Alfonso Cuaron as best director,  gave Gravity six other awards, then turned around and ignored it  completely for the big enchilada. 

Sandra Bullock was way better in this film than she was in the one she won for The Blind Side.  It doesn't ad up, and for me the whole charade has become a crushing bore if not a yearly joke. Let’s give racism an award so we can ignore it the other 364 days of the year. 

And please let Cate Blanchett’s award be the end of Hollywood’s perpetual ass kissing of the pedophile known as Woody Allen.  Every defender of this miscreant that says there was no evidence of molestation can only make that statement when they completely ignore the findings at the custody hearing.  They conveniently get a memory lapse time after time after time as if the transcript and judge’s decision never existed at all.  As I said on my Facebook page, what Blanchett should have said was “I thank Woody Allen on behalf of all pedophiles everywhere that are under represented in Hollywood.”

And on top of that, he’s overrated as a director.  His movies are nothing more than a hodgepodge in which he caters to his own inner psychotic neurosis hoping to use Hollywood as his psychiatric treatment instead of paying for an analyst.

These are just a few of the many reasons why the Oscars shouldn't mean diddily squat to you or me.  People will still watch to gaze at the hoopla and celebrities, but they have become so stodgy and snobby that the influence they actually have is now minimal despite how many tune into see this mess.  I mean, it’s an event.  But so was the Super Bowl and it was a crushing bore this year as well. 

From the New Yorker:

With very few exceptions (most notably Christoph Waltz, Whoopi Goldberg, Bill Murray, and the duo of Jamie Foxx and Jessica Biel), the presenters seemed zombified, reading their cue cards with an engagement and an enthusiasm compared to which the nightly reports of an average weatherperson seem Brando-esque. And it’s not because they’re bad actors—on the contrary, some of my favorite contemporary performers were onstage distributing statues—but because the tone, set from on high, was petrified, in both senses. I don’t entirely blame Ellen DeGeneres for the course of the evening. I don’t know enough about the parcelling out of power backstage to know how guided or vetted she was by the producers—whether the writers were hers or imposed upon her. But, having accepted the job, she seems, at the very least, to have accepted the regulations, and she toed the line with a dutiful eagerness in a desperate cause; she worked hard to maintain a show of good cheer and good times while being denied the freewheeling disinhibition that goes with real comedy. It was mainly the undue exertions that came through.

The nadir was the pizza; the synthetic spontaneity of the non-event brought to mind Andy Kaufman, whose genius I miss all the time and whose ability to mesh the nostalgic bathos of a pizza party with the edge of chaos would have made him a formidable, historic Oscar host. And to top off the pizza’s unfunniness came DeGeneres’s passing of the hat to pay for it, about which Emily Gould aptly tweeted, “amounts of money that are consequential to most people mean nothing to us, they are literally a joke! ha ha ha.”

In a brief interview in the backstage shadows, after the red carpet and before the main event, one of the two producers of the festivities (I can’t remember whether it was Craig Zadan or Neil Meron) likened the show to tightrope walking and called himself a good tightrope walker. So he may be, but this event was all net; it started in the safety zone and never got aloft……….

……………..There are the movies, and that’s where the far end of the bell curve is served. The fact that the best movies went home empty-handed—“The Wolf of Wall Street” and “Nebraska”—is beside the point. If my own internal audio-meter is to be trusted, two of the biggest rounds of applause and cheers of the night went to Leonardo DiCaprio and Jonah Hill, for their performances in Martin Scorsese’s movie. Taking nothing away from the honorable but conventional performances by McConaughey and Leto, the house of peers seemed to know where the magic lay.

That its magicians were even on hand for the festivities, watching others collect statues, is itself a source of wonder. The movie has already passed into the future history of the cinema, and it will be watched with admiration and astonishment when the petty personality politics of the ceremony have passed into welcome oblivion. In the meantime, bring on the four-hour director’s cut of “Wolf” (and may it have a little theatrical run to coincide with the DVD release).

And if you want a list of the winners, here they are.

Hollywood’s Never Ending Love Affair With Woody Allen, The Molester, Makes Me Want To Puke

 

I will never understand Hollywood's love affair with Woody Allen the Molester.  But even if you put that bit of nasty history aside, most of his movies are self indulgent exercises in endless psycho babble tedium.  Oh don't worry, every time I criticize your highness, someone from the Hollywood School of Elite Snobbery surfaces to tell me I don't know what I'm talking about.  But whatever.

By my way of thinking, Annie Hall to this day remains one of the most over praised ridiculous best picture winners in the history of the Academy Awards.   

From Think Progress:

The next summer, Orth wrote “after disappearing with Allen in Mia’s Connecticut country house and reappearing without underpants, Dylan told her mother that Allen had stuck his finger up her vagina and kissed her all over in the attic.” Allen has denied her charges, and staff at Yale-New Haven Hospital and Connecticut state investigators split on whether Dylan was a credible witness. Ultimately, charges weren’t filed against Allen, though a number of investigators believed Dylan.

It’s true that Allen hasn’t been convicted of anything, but it remains an incredibly ugly part of his history that, until Orth’s piece, had faded in the public memory, eclipsed by Allen’s affair with and marriage to Soon-Yi Previn, Farrow’s daughter, which has become the placeholder for the sexually queasy air that surrounds Allen. But his legal innocence doesn’t mean that anyone’s required to like Allen, or that it’s not incredibly jarring to see a public tribute to him that completely ignores the profound discomfort many people feel about Allen’s personal life and that has affected the way they see his work.

 

There's much more to the article, some of which I don't agree with. But whatever side you come down on, I think it's high time we quit honoring sleazeballs in this country. If Woody Allen wants to make movies, he has that right. But there is no reason to continually shower him with awards while forgetting what kind of a person her really is. But in Uh-merica, it seems to be coming a habit.

The Sound of Music Live: Best of Twitter

I don’t know how you felt about NBC’s live Broadway Production of The Sound of Music starring Carrie Underwood as Julie Andrews and some vampire dude as Christopher Plummer, but Twitter was on fire as #TheSoundofMusicLive was trending heavily.

I haven’t watched yet, but will later.  (I live on the west coast so we don’t get to watch it live regardless)  I’m sure the ratings will be red hot, but if Twitter is any judge, the whole experience was less than memorable.  So I gathered these up just for you to save you the trouble of sifting through them yourself.  You’re welcome.

And if the imitation Julie Andrews gave you heartburn, you can always get the blu-ray of the real deal to wash away your sins.  Thanks!